Intermountain Donor Services supports written correspondence between recipients and donor families. If you are a recipient interested in writing to the donor family, below are information and guidelines.

If you need more detailed instructions on writing to donor families or have any questions, feel free to contact Karen Hannahs at Intermountain Donor Services at 801-478-7333 or 800-833-6667, or email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it , or talk with your transplant social worker or coordinator.

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If you are reading this now, your life has probably been saved or enhanced by the amazing gift of donation from someone you’ve never met. You no doubt are aware that sadness and loss have accompanied the gift of donation you received. And so you, like many recipients, may be confused about what to say or do. You may want to express your gratitude, but may feel afraid that you will intrude or add to the donor family’s grief. This guide is meant to address your concerns and provide you with instructions for corresponding with your donor family.

Experience shows that donor families want to know their gift has been received and that it has made a difference in someone’s life. A thank you card or letter from their recipient can often help them to bear the sorrow of their loss. A card or letter is not generally thought of as an intrusion as long as you communicate in a sensitive way.

We recognize that not all recipients feel able to express their thoughts to their donor family. They may choose not to write. This does not mean they are less thankful. These recipients have expressed to us at Intermountain Donor Services that they live each day quietly remembering the generosity of their donor families. And sometimes those same recipients do decide to express their gratitude in a card or letter at a later time.

Intermountain Donor Services and your transplant social worker/coordinator can facilitate correspondence with your donor family. At Intermountain Donor Services, it is our belief that donor families and recipients have the right to engage in mutually acceptable forms of communication, as they desire, with respect to confidentiality. There is no right or wrong way to approach this communication. And there is no timeline for your decision. Following are general guidelines:

Guidelines for Correspondence

 When writing to your donor family you may want to:

• Acknowledge and express sympathy for the donor family’s loss.
• Thank the donor family.
• Use simple language. Be sensitive to the feelings of the donor family.
• Share general information about your life, occupation, family and friends, hobbies and interests.
• To respect confidentiality and anonymity please sign only your first name. Don't include last names, addresses, city names, phone numbers, or names of hospitals or physicians.
• Write about your transplant experience using simple language, not medical jargon, and how it has affected your life.
• Place your completed letter in an unsealed envelope. Include a separate sheet of paper with your full name and your date of transplant. Mail to your transplant social worker or coordinator at the transplant center.
• The transplant coordinator will then mail your card or letter with the proper donor identification information to Intermountain Donor Services. We will forward it to the donor family after calling them and getting permission.

The same process is true for any return correspondence from the donor family. We receive it and send it on to you through your transplant social worker/coordinator. The only way you and your donor family could come to know each other’s identity is if you mutually agree to exchange that information.

There is no right or wrong way to approach this communication. Some donor families are interested in ongoing anonymous contact that is facilitated by us. Still, other donor families seek to move in the direction of a free, direct, and mutual exchange between themselves and the recipient. Intermountain Donor Services is here to facilitate the communication you want, not to direct you as to how or if you should communicate.

Just as you had to make the decision to write your donor family, the donor family also needs to decide whether they feel comfortable to read your correspondence. and write back. If you do not receive any return correspondence from the donor family, please remember that the donor family is coping with the loss of their loved one and that individuals handle grief in different ways. We at Intermountain Donor Services are thankful that you took the time to write to the family and express your gratitude. Even if they feel unable to communicate with you, they will always know that you cared and were thankful for their donation.

If you need further information about writing to donor families, or have any questions at all feel free to contact Karen Hannahs at Intermountain Donor Services at 801.478-7333 or 800.833.6667, This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or talk with your transplant social worker or coordinator.

Questions On Writing to Your Donor Family - written by Karen Hannahs

“It was a positive experience for all of us to hear from the liver recipient and see that it did make a difference in their lives.” “It was a little bit disappointing and hurtful that we have not heard anything from any of the recipients. It would help our family to know how the recipients are doing. It would make it more real for us.” “Having received letters from one of the recipients made us feel very good about the donation. I wish we would have heard from others.”

These quotes have all come from donor family surveys in response to the question, “Have you received any correspondence from your recipients?” In the years that I have spoken to transplant groups, many of the questions about writing to donor families are similar. I’ve included these questions along with answers, which I hope will help in your decision on whether or not to write to your donor family.

"I was told I have to wait a year to write to my donor family." This is not true. In fact, the donor family will often start asking around the six month anniversary if they will hear from their loved one’s recipient. I encourage recipients to write when they feel they are ready.

"I’m afraid I will hurt the family; that I will bring up old wounds." The loss of their loved one is a part of their day to day existence. They think and talk about their loved one all the time. There is no “old wound” to bring up. I often hear from donor families that the ability to help another person, through transplantation, is often the one good thing that came from their loved ones death. When I receive a letter from a recipient for their donor family, I always call and get permission to send the letter on to them. The families are often overjoyed and humbled that they have received a letter from their recipient.

"I want to write and say thank you, but don’t think I am ready to have ongoing correspondence with the family."  You can let your social worker or coordinator know that you are not ready for ongoing correspondence. They can notify the OPO, so they will have this information should the donor family ask. If you change your mind at some point, you could write to the family again.

"I don’t have the words." "I’m a horrible speller." "I’m not a good writer." Some of the most memorable letters I have read were written by someone who didn’t use “correct” language or spelling, but spoke from their heart. The families don’t care how you thank them; just the fact that you are thanking them. If you feel that you can’t put into words what you are feeling, look for a thank you card and simply sign your first name (look for Hallmark “Journey” series).

"I’m just not emotionally ready to write. I don’t know if I will ever be ready to write."  Can someone else write a thank you letter for you? About 30 percent of the letters we receive are written, not by the recipient, but by a family member.

"I wrote to my donor family, but never heard back from them. I don’t even know if they got the letter." Not all families are ready to respond to a letter, but that in no way means they did not appreciate receiving your letter. If you’re wondering whether or not the donor family received the letter, check with your social worker or coordinator and they can check with the OPO on the status of the letter.

If you need additional tips on writing to your donor family, go to www.donorfamily.org or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it and search for the brochure “Writing to your donor family."